i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
