I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
