i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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