So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize