I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Are we still banned from the library?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
