She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
