East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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