You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
