i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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