my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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