oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
