she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
