Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
