too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
