I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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