i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
