dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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