Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
