is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
