all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
