how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
