I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
