she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Randomize
