You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
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In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
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Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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