I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
