Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
