question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
And then he peed in my hair
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