I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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