are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
