I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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