vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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