What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
