Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
