yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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