Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
