OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize