I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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