we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
