Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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