This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
