I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
