There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
