I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
