i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
