I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
is wine microwaveable?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
