Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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