I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
