So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
