I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
There are leaves in my underwear?
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