oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.