She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
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I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
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Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.