Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
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You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
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It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.