How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
