I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize