I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
