I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
