Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
