you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
