I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
