Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
