that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
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we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
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Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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