Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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