question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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