Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
