physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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