My room smells like vodka and shame
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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